Diary of a Lovesick Idiot
by bacta.junkie
Summary: Rose Weasley was the most attractive girl in school. Too bad she's also the shyest. It'll take a lot of effort to seduce a girl this reclusive... Read and Review!


**This is based on a true story that legitimately happened to me. I apparently had a girlfriend for three weeks without anyone informing me. I am such an idiot.**

**Read and review! :D**

**Disclaimer: All the following characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. Except Alex Zabini. He's mine.**

Diary of a Lovesick Idiot

It was a cold, snowy morning in January of sixth year when I first made it my mission to- for lack of a better word- seduce Rose Weasley.

There are some things you should know first. Rose was not a normal witch. She never talked to anyone. Ever. Don't get me wrong, she was a brilliant witch- she wouldn't have been in Ravenclaw with me if she wasn't- but the only reason I knew what her voice sounded like was from hearing her cast spells in class. She also had a massive family, yet she didn't talk to them either. She was the only Weasley/Potter in Ravenclaw; almost all of the rest were in Gryffindor. She had no friends that I was aware of; every time I saw her outside of class, she'd either be studying or reading. She was, for all purposes, a complete mystery to me and everyone else not related to her.

So why was I interested in her?

Well, there were a few reasons. For one, she was brilliant- top of the class, just like her mother. Another reason was that she was completely, mind-numbingly, heart-wrenchingly beautiful. There were a hundred men at Hogwarts who would have loved to get their hands on her. I was not one of them. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to date her, a lot; just not for her body alone. The REAL reason I decided to seduce Rose Weasley happened that cold, snowy January morning.

I was strolling down a deserted hallway. It was a Sunday, about a week after the holidays had ended. I turned down another hall to find a door shutting towards the end of it; a door, I recognized, that led to the library. It was that mystery of Ravenclaw Rose Weasley that had exited said door; she clearly had yet to notice my presence. Curious as I was, but no more so than any other person would have been, I continued walking behind her, wanting to see what she did when nobody else was around. I was thus very shocked when I heard her voice, almost too quiet to notice, singing a tune.

To this day, I don't know what she sang; I don't think the words even reached my brain. The one thought I was able to register, other than the silent acknowledgement of my metaphorical jaw metaphorically dropping, was "Good Godric, her voice is gorgeous!"

At that exact moment, I knew I had to make her mine.

Now, you don't just seduce a girl like Rose Weasley; it takes a very, very long time. You have to get to know her first, earn her trust, earn her affection, and THEN ask her out. The process can take months.

About a week later, I approached the girl in the Ravenclaw Common room. It was quite late, and she was studying for some test or other. I pulled up a chair next to her and sat, looking at her notes.

"Watcha studying?" She looked at me like I was completely insane.

"Uhh… Charms… Why are you talking to me…?" Her voice was quiet, the same way it'd been in the halls. It was relatively high-pitched and sounded very innocent, like it might shatter at any moment.

"Because I want to. I heard you singing in the hall last week-" She froze, and her eyes grew wide. She was terrified. "-and I thought it was beautiful. You've got quite the voice." She said nothing, didn't move, didn't blink.

"…My name's Scorpius Mal-"  
"I know who you are."

It was my turn to be shocked. Clearly, she was far more observant than I had given her credit for.

"How do you…?"

"I see everything." The words weren't said with arrogance. They were stated as fact. I was inclined to believe her. Her expression had returned to normal, and her attention to her notes.

Again, I was speechless. But determination won over.

"I'd like to be your friend, Rose. I want to get to know you. Who you are."

Again, she shot me a look that said 'what is wrong with you?'

I cleared my throat. "What I mean is, you're amazing- wait, no let me try again. You-" she put her finger to my lips, gesturing for me to shut up now.

"Okay."

"What…?"

"Okay. You can be my friend." She was smiling. I smiled back.

"Splendid!" I remarked, like the idiot she was turning me into. My brain had completely turned to mush since I'd started talking to her. My heart was following.

She giggled.

I think I'm in love.

_Woah there, slow down- you just met the girl…_

* * *

After that, we fell into a steady routine. I'd eat with her at meals, sit next to her in classes we shared, study with her in the library, in the courtyard, in the common room, etc. For two months, this went on daily. As her only friend, I had her complete attention, and I was just fine with that. I learned things about her that, it occurred to me, nobody else knew, not even her family. I learned that the reason she knew my name was because her father had pointed me out to her at the platform on the first day of school, six years ago, and told her to beat me at every class. That she'd remembered me all this time was testament to her exceptional mind. I learned that her favorite color was orange, yet she despised red. I learned that she loved muggle movies, but never got to watch them. (She also had to explain to me what a movie was.) I learned that she was entirely oblivious to how gorgeous she was, and to how many guys wanted to date her. Not that I told her either of those things; I picked them up from the little things she said to me, the things that held no significance to her. I learned that she hated having a big family; though she loved them all individually, she couldn't stand them as a group.

Every day, I found myself falling for her more and more, and I couldn't help but notice the way her face lit up when I entered a room. However, I had yet to figure out whether she was reciprocating my feelings. I talked to my good friend Alex Zabini about the problem one day- two months after our first encounter. I told him how I was feeling, how she was acting, and asked him what I should do.

The conversation did not go the way I'd hoped.

"Well, shit. Congratulations on successfully breaking the walls of the most reclusive girl in school, bro."

"Shut up. What's your advice?"

"You know, I always thought this would end up the other way around- me in the position of 'target of the affection of the hottest girl in school' asking you for advice. Funny how things don't work out the way we plan."

"Fuck you, Alex. Just tell me what to do."

"Let me handle it."

I was worried, but said nothing. Alex was a Slytherin; if anyone would be able to help me, it'd be him.

* * *

Two days later, Alex told me she was interested. I didn't ask how he'd acquired the information; if there's one thing I'd learned being raised by two former Slytherins, it's don't interfere with the evil schemes. I thanked him for the favor and, after reassuring him that yes, I did owe him one, went to find Rose.

When I found her, I was in no better a position than I had been when I'd first talked to her. In fact, it took me three more weeks to work up the courage to even consider asking her out. Sure, she'd been noticeably more affectionate in that time, but I was too worried about finding the right words to notice the little touches, the giggles, the hugs.

It was a sunny, unseasonably warm Sunday in March when I finally put into action the last phase of my plan to seduce Rose Weasley- actually asking her out.

We had gone to Hogsmeade together. We were walking down the main thoroughfare, eating ice cream from Honeyduke's. She reached for my free hand and grabbed hold of it, but otherwise paid no notice to me. I stopped and sat at a bench. She followed. What ensued was the single most awkward conversation of my life.

"Rose, I need to ask you something…" I stuttered.

"What is it, Scorp?" She flashed me a reassuring smile.

"Would you… maybe… wanna… go out, like, on a date… with me?" I was so nervous; I couldn't get a complete sentence out.

She looked puzzled. "Are we not on one right now?"

I mirrored her reaction. "Huh…?"

"Scorpius, we've been dating for three weeks. Why on Earth did you just ask me out on a date?"

_What the FUCK._

"We've been dating for three weeks…? Why wasn't I informed of this?"

"Three weeks ago, Alex Zabini approached me in the hallway while I was on my way to meet you in the library to study. He asked me if I would consider dating you. I said yes. I assumed that was you being too shy to ask me out and sending someone else, which I completely understand. I wouldn't have been able to do even that, had I been planning to ask someone on a date."

I couldn't help it. I started laughing. It was just so ridiculous.

At least, it was, until she got mad and stormed off.

_Shit._

* * *

She refused to talk to me for three days. I didn't realize how much I needed her in my life until she was gone. I finally cornered her, ironically, in the same chair and at the same table in the common room where we had our first conversation.

"Rose, can we talk? Please?"

"…Fine. What do you want?" Acid laced her tone. It stung.

"I'm sorry I laughed. I'm sorry I didn't know we were dating. I'm sorry I'm such an asshole. You see, I asked Alex to find out if you were interested in me. He told me you were; I didn't ask how he found out, and he didn't tell me. It never occurred to me that he just walked up and talked to you. I spent the last three weeks trying to work up the courage to ask you out- and that was _after_ I'd been told by a credible source that you were predisposed to say yes. Thing is, I love being your friend. Talking to you makes my day. I can't imagine life without you; I don't even want to try. So if there was even the slightest chance that you'd say no, and it would somehow ruin our friendship, I would never be able to forgive myself. It took me a while to work up the courage to risk it. I noticed the touches. I notice the smiles and the giggles and the hugs. I was just a bit too distracted by my nerves to pay any attention. I'm sorry that I've been a bad boyfriend- even if I didn't know I was a boyfriend yet. I promise you, I swear to you, I've never been more certain that I want to be yours than I am now, after not having you for three days. It was torture, Rose. Can you ever forgive me?"

She looked contemplative. We sat in silence for a few moments, then a smile grew on her face. She threw her arms around my neck and buried her face into my chest. Reflexively, I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Of course I forgive you, you lovesick idiot." She giggled.

We unlaced our arms and she returned to her studying. I sat in silence, watching her with a huge grin on my cheeks. Suddenly she locked eyes with me- slowly, deliberately.

"Scorpius, I have to ask. Was being my friend all this time just a ploy to get me to trust you enough to ask me out?"

Damn. The woman can read me like a book.

"Well… Yeah, it was. I spent two months pretending to be your friend when the entire time I just wanted to tackle you to the ground and snog you senseless." I blushed, and looked to my feet. I assumed she'd be offended that I had lied to her all this time.

"…well I'm yours now."

"huh…?"

"You wanted to tackle me to the ground and snog me senseless. I've been waiting three weeks. Go ahead."

I was frozen with shock for a moment; this, the girl who not two months prior was horrified that I'd heard her singing alone in the hallway, had just dared me to- well, you read that.

The shock wore off, and I jumped at her. She hopped out of the chair with an agility I wasn't aware she possessed; I impacted the chair she'd occupied moments before. She giggled.

"You'll have to catch me first!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, we disconnected our lips and sat up from the couch. She re-buttoned the top three buttons on her shirt; I re-tied my tie and smoothed my hair.

"Merlin, Rose; I didn't know you had that in you."

She smiled seductively. "Neither did I."

I helped her off the chair and kissed her goodnight.

"I love you," I blurted out before I could stop myself. She didn't respond, I assumed she hadn't heard me. As I prepared to bang my head into the wall, I heard an amused voice from the other end of the common room respond.

"I love you too, you lovesick idiot."


End file.
